Secret Santa
by luffyluffy
Summary: What is inside the Box for Ed? RoyXEd Havocai is you squint R


It had finally come. The Secret Santa. Edward didn't want to come but Roy had ordered him to.

_God damned bastard! Ordering me to do this! This is--_**clearly abuse of power!!**

Edward fumed not so silently as he violently walked inside the busy Central HQ Building.

"'Everyone'll be there Edward! Come on! You'll have fun!' Fun my Ass! I swear when I get my hands on him!!"

Ed made a motion in front of the decently sized box in front of him.

"Nii-San...Please try to calm down..."

Ed's little brother said softly, carrying a fairly larger gift.

"People are watching..."

Ed growled.

"Lets just hurry up and get this the GODDAMNED HELL OVER WITH!!"

Ed violently ran into the elevator and smashed the button violently. Al hurried inside before the elevator doors closed.

"Tee-Hee! I love Christmas! Wanna see a pretty picture of Elicia in her Christmas dress?"

A growl came from the center of the desk.

"Hughes..."

It growled ever so low.

"I've seen this picture 80 times already..."

Hughes leaned in and thrust it into Roy's face.

"I know I know! So have I! Doesn't it just invigorate you?"

The trademark goofy smile that was so constantly plastered over Hughes face broke his lips. Roy had often wondered how Hughes kept it from freezing it that way. But Roy was jarred from his thoughts when I storm swept the room.

"HEY YOU CANIVING BASTERD!! I GOT YOU YOUR GODDAMNED PRESENT!! CAN I GO NOW?!"  
"Sorry...Sorry...Nii-San please..."

Roy stood up placing his gloved palms down flat on the table.

"Yes now Fullmetal. If you didn't want to join in our festivities then you shouldn't have come!"

Ed nearly exploded.

"YOU ASSHOLE!! YOU ORDERED ME TO COME AND JOIN IN THE 'FESTIVITIES'!"

Roy mearly shrugged and that sent Ed into a rage.

"Why is Little Big Brother all angry?"

The cute little voice of Elicia Hughes popped out of nowhere startling Ed.

"Little Big Brother cant be angry on Christmas! It's about being happy Right Daddy?"

Hughes smiled from the semi-middle of the room.

"Thats wite Elicia!"

He said speaking in a baby voice.

"Well everyone! It's time for the party!"

Roy's voice suddenly boomed out of nowhere.

"Everyone put your Secret Santa gifts under the tree over there" He motioned to the tree to the right of his desk. "And we'll open them in a little while. Let the party Begin!"

"Little Big Brother!"

Elicia ran out of the corner.

"There are for you! I made them! Daddy Helped!"

She held up a plate with tinfoil on it. A stick of a happy clown face was transcribed in Elicias young scrawl. Ed pulled up the tinfoil and gasped. As he pulled the tinfoil up more Elicia jumped on the couch next to him. He picked one up. Little Gingerbread Men all "dressed" up like Him.

"Aw Elicia...How sweet!"

Ed took a bite.  
"Hey! Not half bad Squirt!"

He smiled at her ruffling her hair gently.

"Somebody's gotten her Mommys passion for Cooking!"

A large smile broke on her face.

"Really Little Big Brother?"

Ed nodded.

"Yep!"

A hand pressed down on one of the cookies and picked it up. Roy bit the head off the Ed Cookie.

"Yummie."

He said loudly before shoving it down his throat.

"Oh!"

Elicia jumped up.

"I made some for Uncle Roy too!"

Roy plopped down Next to Ed.

"I'll go get them!"

And she bounded off to get them. Roy yanked up another Ed Cookie.

"Hey Fullmetal."

Roy said loudly giving Ed a not-so-friendly punch on the arm to get his attention.

"Now your even shorter!"

He said with a devilish smile as he bit off Ed Cookie's Legs.

"Here they are Uncle Roy!"

Elicia placed them on the table and took the tinfoil off. Ed promptly grabbed one.  
"Oh ya?"

He said tauntingly.

"Well Now your even MORE useless!"

With a sneer he gently nibbled Roy Cookies hands off. Roy smirked.

"Wow Fullmetal Wow...How childi–YOUR BALD!"

He ate off the top of Ed-Cookies heat.

"WELL YOU HAVE NO HEAD!"

Ed ripped off Roy Cookies head.

"Well your...!! YOUR SO SMALL ARE YOU ARE **IS** HEAD!"

Roy ripped off Ed-Cookies body.

"Why you...WELL NOW YOUR SEA FOOD!"

Ed threw the cookie into his mouth and chewed it for a few moments before sticking his tongue out showing Roy the contents of his mouth as well as the chewed up cookie. It took every bit of Roy's strength to scoop off the cookie mash up off of Ed's tongue with his own. He finished he Ed Cookie before raising his hands in submission.

"I'm out."

He stood off and walked off still controlling himself. Ed swallowed.

"HA!!"

He screamed out.

"IF YOU CANT HANDLE THE HEAT GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN!!"

Ed cackled deviously.

"Now Now Everyone!"

Hughes voice signaled to everyone to shut up and sit down.

"ITS TIME FOR THE SECRET SANTA!" 

"Now Elicia"

Hughes bent down to his daughters eye level.

"Why don't you have out all the presents from underneath the tree."

Elicia smiled.

"Kay Daddy!"

She ran behind Roy's desk.

"This one's for Aunty Riza!

Hey! It's to heavy! I cant pick it up!"

Hughes smiled.

"Let me help."

He picked up and went over to Hawkeye who was sitting next top Havoc on a second couch that was borrowed from the office next door.

"Here."

He said pushing the heavy gift onto her lap. She smiled and nodded at him before slowly pulling at the wrapping paper. Inside was a Gun Cleaning hit.

"You needed a new one right? I heard you complaining about it a few months back and it was only a stroke of luck I got you for the Secret Santa."

Hawkeye smiled.

"Thank you Lieutenant..."

Her head plopped down on his shoulder and he help her waist pulling her close.

Elicia smiled.

"Hey!! This one's for Uncle Roy!"

She picked up the box and handed it to him.  
"Oho! What do we have here?"

He eagerly ripped open the wrapping.

"What...What is it?"

"It's a battery powered hairdryer Sir. You can use it on your gloves in the rain!"

He fumed a little.

"T-Thank you Lieutenant."

He made a solemn promise to burn the little gift when he got home.

Ed twirled the drink in his hand a little. Nothing much was going on. The gift's had all pretty much been given out.

"Hey! This one's for Daddy!"

Hughes looked up.

"For Me?"

She ran over to him and help up the gift with the yellow wrapping paper. Hughes ripped it all off.

"It's a Digital Camera. You can connect it so the computer and make thousands upon thousands of new pictures and make them bigger or smaller!"

Hughes face lit up.

"Lets test it out! EVERYBODY ON THE COUCH!"

Everybody got up and squeezed onto the couch. Roy had sat first, Far away from the little blond beauty. But as fate would have it he was smashed up behind the blond boy. Roy placed his hands on either sides of Ed's legs to keep himself steady. As he did so he caught a wif Of Ed's lush hair. It smelled like peaches and gumdrops and SOAP! Roy blinks and smelled it again. Hughes set the auto timer and leapt into the mass of people on the tiny couch. Ed's body twisted and he laid on his back. Roy flung himself over Ed's body and pinned him. A click and a flash came from the camera and everyone dispersed. Roy himself too rolled off the boy. Ed got up and sat back down in his spot trying to hide his blush.

_He was so close to me...I could feel all the warmth...I could smell him..._

The rest of the gifts were passed out with out incident. All except for Edwards.  
"I...I don't have a gift?"

"Heh...Sorry Ed There's no gift with your name on it..."

Ed closed his eyes.

"Thought I wouldn't get a gift..."

"Maybe it wasn't that you didn't get a gift but your Secret Santa just didn't give it to you yet."

Ed gasped.

"Co--"

Roy pushed a finger to Ed's lips.

"You're my Secret Santa?!"

Roy smiled and leaned a little closer to the confuzzled boy.

"What do you think your doing?!"

"...I'm giving you your present...Ed"

Roy leaned down and pecked a tiny little kiss on the blond Boy's lips. Round and full lips. Roy's own lips quivered as he pulled them away.

"Merry Christmas Ed."

"...Merry Christmas...Basterd."


End file.
